This is a 2nd post native a 50-something cotton Man-Fan. (You have the right to read component 1 here.) After experiencing so many women placed themselves down, pull ago from intimacy and also not accept his compliments, he chose to share the man’s suggest of view. Ns hope you love what he claims as much as i do. He’s a wonderful, generosity teacher for united state all. Give thanks to you for choosing to re-superstructure this on my blog Mr. Man Fan. You understand I’m a large fan of yours! 

Bobbi repetitively emphasizes the power of flirting. Together a 54 year old solitary man who is date regularly, I deserve to tell you this:

Men have actually no defense against a great flirt.

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It doesn’t issue what friend look favor or even if it is we know you are doing it, we melt. So, side note, it pays to hone her flirting skills.

Any mrs older 보다 18 has actually probably long identified that males are basically powered by a reptilian mind stem v just enough gray issue to guide us to the fridge. We space literal and we take things literally. If a guy pays friend a compliment, he actually does mean it and feels slighted if you nothing agree v him.

Guys don’t perform ‘mercy dates.’ We’re as well self-centered.

If you are using virtual dating to meet people, the very first date (or as Bobbi calls it the “meet date”) might be to check out if you in reality look choose your file photo. (It go both ways. I would certainly say almost half of the females don’t watch remotely close, so ladies, please perform us both a favor and also take Bobbi’s advice and update your online photos).

The 2nd date may be to finalize an opinion pro or con. Ladies, if you are on a third date through a male he thinks you space absolutely gorgeous. He think you room stunning. He isn’t through you because this weekend’s NFL game line up is mediocre. And to call things together they are, he is thinking around getting you right into bed.

The influence of this negative self-image is devastating, not just to you but to the guys who want to day you. In an earlier blog Bobbi mentions ladies who have actually such a negative self-image castle would nearly rather finish a relationship than hazard being checked out unclothed by their partner. As soon as I an initial read the my initial believed was, “That is outrageous. There is simply no way. Possibly it’s one in a million women.” It’s not one in a million. I’ve had several promise relationships v wonderful females abruptly end for factors I strongly suspect were related to this.

There is a difference between a human body ‘falling apart’ and simply changing.

As I mentioned earlier, men are fairly primal in their thinking. After the 3rd date that is thinking about what friend look choose sans clothing. He may look prefer he’s placing together the quarterly budget report yet he’s thinking around you and probably doing for this reason every numerous minutes.

You’re for this reason worried about what you think our reaction will certainly be if we see you naked? You understand what? We already know! i can’t divulge the guy code however we have complex system the figuring it out. We know what you will do it look like and the sooner we deserve to see it in human being the better.

So, she a mom and have given birth. We don’t care! Or you have surgery scars or a few extra pounds. Again, we don’t care. There is a difference between a human body ‘falling apart’ and also simply changing. Just since your body looks various than the did two decades ago doesn’t median we don’t think that beautiful.

Be open to the truth that what the media portrays as attractive doesn’t match with what real people men do. Be open up to the reality that when males compliment girlfriend they sincerely average it and also accept lock graciously.

Be aware that men are visual and also if he asks you out it’s since he thinks you’re really attractive. And remember, the components that make the largest affect with respect to attractiveness room within your control: they are your warmth and femininity.

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So…what execute you think? have actually you ever before had a male who to be interested that you ignored of resisted because you didn’t think it? how are you v taking compliments? has actually Mr. Man Fan readjusted your perception at all about men and what castle want? Share your thoughts below!


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Great article and testimonial indigenous a man.I personally think men currently when they compliment me and also I do accept the compliments, i am confident in my sexy 46 year old body!

Though what bugs me is this phrase:By the 3rd date we understand we want to check out you naked asap, we desire to get into bed v you.Big compliment but for me something i feel so fear about!

Don’t obtain me wrong, ns am a really sexual person and also I appreciate that a guy feels attractive to me… yet I had actually too countless men being specifically interested in mine body and it saddens me soooo much!

I currently cringe when I get compliments around how i look sexy, yummie, how good my hair is.

I’d rather have a male asking me just how I to be doing, complimenting me on the method I am a great person, a good mom, exactly how I make him laugh…

Now when men compliment me all my defenses walk up! Like: what are your intentions? choose the other 10 guys before you? Hit and also run! I desire a guy who is attractive to me for more than just my body. Issue seems to be: once a man puts friend in the ‘sexy’ bucket, he no look beyond.

How deserve to I navigate this?

I know numerous women would like to be seen more sexy through men, ns would like to be seen much less sexy and more as a person.


I think you room wrong. Guys will always go after ~ looks and also they do not like solid personality women either


I simply started a relationship, third date is tomorrow! he is head end heels, sent me flowers after second date. Yes talks about sex ALOT asks me what ns like! tells me what that likes! I’m freaking out. Then flowers pertained to office after 2nd date( the remembered the colors ns like) card said ” you have actually touched my heart and my soul” ns was touched. We talk he likes to talk about more sex! Then i get one more sweet message that claims you are an ext beautiful then any young girl , friend beat them all, I miss you. Third date tomorrow, I acquire it! the post helped indigenous Mr guy I do recognize this male really wants to obtain me into bed! but I likewise know he yes, really likes me and told me the is trying to find a life partner. I also think in his 21 year marriage he remained in abandoned emotionally and also has not had a sexual connection. Over there ya go. I m really going to shot and protect against over thinking this and also enjoy it! many thanks BP your blogs space so helpful.


Thanks therefore much, Bobbi for publishing these posts from men. I uncover them really interesting and also incredibly refreshing. I agree the we ladies are way too hard on ourselves. You need to just let go and just reap the moment and I put myself in that category! LOL!


Maybe. But I am frequently at Ballroom dance events where i am sit (or standing) in the same basic area as also skinny, somewhat-younger, bleach-blondes. Ns wear a dress, get out on the floor as lot as possible, smile; most people think ns am about ten years younger than my age.. However sometimes, I likewise sit there and watch the 2 bleach-blondes obtain asked onto the floor over and over… while ns sit. I have to admit that I begin to it must be a little. Maybe men looking at images of particular women for virtual dating are not necessarily attractive to skinny. However in actual life? can be an extremely discouraging.


I view the confident in what he has actually shared. Kudos for helping women recognize that they are beautiful in ~ any and also every age.Although I should be the odd-lady-out the the audience and do not discover it flattering to recognize that if i am asked the end for a third time that is since he desires to gain me in bed. I think I know the difference between men and also women, generally, that men think around sex far much more frequently 보다 women. I would certainly presume if over there is attraction climate the guy may be envisioning me naked by the an initial date.What is yes, really hot and also attractive come me is for a male to compliment me, truly typical it and also have a desire to want to gain to recognize me far deeper as a person by the 3rd date.


After reading Mr. Man’s thoughts, I’m prepared to litter caution… and my bra… to the wind! thanks for the insight, and the pep talk, Mr. Man. I truly respect your straight talk and generosity.


My current girlfriend had breast cancer long prior to I met her. She had her entire left breast removed and also reconstructed along with a huge surgical scar on she stomach. I had no idea what to mean the very first time.

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None of the mattered a whit to me. She is the sexiest woman ns have ever been with. It actually made her more interesting.

So smile, take it off, and be proud. We’ll love every minute of it.