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"I"m royally danged!"The King of the Hill estimates Page: "Bobby Slam" Click right here to return to the Main quotes Page price quotes from "Bobby Slam"Written by Gina FattoreDirected by chris MoellerPEGGY: i told her you were busy "wrestling" with some indigenous problems. (laughs) Oh, Peggy!DOUG: Why pick basketball? Well, for one thing, it"s the only sport where you acquire to bounce a ball. Bounce a soccer -- that"s a fumble, isn"t it? Baseball -- no bouncing at all. Bounce a ball in hockey -- that"s a mandatory medicine test right there. So sign up with the basketball team. Say thanks to you.PEGGY: us are supplying you girl a special routine that combine the thrills that wrestling v the an abilities of basketball, in something we contact "General Sports."BOBBY: Dad, assumption: v what? i joined a team!HANK: A sporting activities team?BOBBY: Uh-huh. Wrestling. It"s the finest sport ever, Dad! There"s no running!HANK: way to go, boy! Wrestling"s a damn fine sport. Hell, it"s one Olympic sport! and this is readily available through the school, isn"t it? no some guy in a van with a camcorder?DOOLEY (waiting exterior the principal"s office v Peggy): What room you here for?PEGGY: Well, Dooley, a pre-teen girl is prefer a skinny tiny tree around to go into the hurricane that adolescence. And if we don"t protect and also nurture this little tree, before you recognize it she"ll it is in bitter and pregnant. For that reason, I"m asking the principal for a new basketball because that the girls.DOOLEY: i peed in part kid"s locker.PEGGY: Hank, what if Bobby to be a girl?HANK: Well, that"s just it, Peggy, ns don"t think we need to worry about that anymore.BOBBY: friend didn"t use genuine wrestling. If you use actual wrestling, it"s difficult to obtain out of the hold.CONNIE: maybe sports wasn"t together a great idea. Possibly I need to do yearbook instead, or chess club.PEGGY: Connie, don"t you say that. Yearbook is a shameful, squalid waste of time.PEGGY: location IX of the Civil legal rights Act clearly prohibits sex differentiate in windy schools, and guarantees same athletic methods for every boys and girls.COACH: Yeah, well, Roe vs. Walking doesn"t use to my wrestling team.CONNIE: Dad, possibly being on the wrestles team can help me gain into Harvard. Remember exactly how disappointed girlfriend were v my application essay? You claimed my an initial draft short life experience.MINH: She right. Connie beat violin, sculpt through metal and speak three languages, yet what collection her apart?KAHN: I believed being smart person in Texas collection her apart. KAHN: If my girl doesn"t wrestle, I"ll show you who put the sue in Souphanousinphone!COACH: This every goes earlier to title IX, penis Nixon"s greatest mistake.HANK: It"s all well and great to talk about equal civil liberties until some male loses his job. Exactly how is the equal?BOBBY: Yeah, and also it"s worse when they take far our favors, "cause we"re supplied to acquiring them.BILL: Now host on, Hank, I"m every for ladies wrestling, except when they do it in pudding. That"s just demeaning to the people who do pudding.DALE: Ever because they held that huge women"s conference in Beijing, co-ed sports has been the number-two priority on the worldwide feminite agenda. Desire to recognize what the number-one priority is? Co-ed bathrooms. It"ll be a cold work in hell before we institute the in the Gribble home.HANK: I thought you were liven teaching girls to punch up basketballs. When did this turn into a desire to damage wrestling?PEGGY: Oh, offer me a break. Ns don"t check out how having a girl on the team would destroy it. Go a mrs judge destroy the can be fried Court?HANK: Yes, and that woman"s name was Earl Warren.PEGGY: Connie is choose up the bat the was ripped out of my hands together a small girl through that little man indigenous the small League. Yet Bobby -- Bobby"s my only son. Ns don"t recognize if I can choose.MINH: select Connie.PEGGY: yet Bobby"s my just --MINH: That not my problem. Choose Connie.PEGGY: Oh, what perform I do? What execute I do?MINH: pick Connie. Choose Connie.DALE: wrestling a girl. That"s a difficult one, Bobby. If you win, you get the shame of having beat increase a girl. If you lose, friend just far better hope she snaps your neck. That"s the quickest way.BOOMHAUER: Yeah, man, talkin" "bout you"re danged if friend do, danged if girlfriend don"t, man.BOBBY: Dad, what am i gonna do? I"m danged here, I"m royally danged!CONNIE: have the right to we please simply forget I ever before said anything about this stupid rings thing?KAHN: What? No! ns go out on gigantic limb for you, Kahn Jr.! you lose, girlfriend no longer my son!PEGGY: Luanne! Quarters!!!PEGGY: I"m sorry, little Jeffrey.LUANNE: That"s Bobby.PEGGY: Oh, yeah. I want to call him Jeffrey, however some guy wouldn"t let me.LUANNE: You median Uncle Hank?KAHN: Mom catch everything on video clip camera, encompass in Harvard application.CONNIE: Dad, I"m not also in high institution yet.KAHN: and also you never get there v that attitude.HANK: Son, I recognize everyone"s to be filling her head through crazy stuff, but I just want friend to know this: Connie killed your frog.COACH: That"s no Olympic-style wrestling.CLARK: Nope. That"s genuine wrestling.CONNIE: ns wanna go to a party school! Yeah! Chico State!HANK: Look in ~ him explode! That"s mine boy!PEGGY: That"s ours boy.
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