When Tony hawk lies in repose top top his deathbed in the year 2109 (a guess), he will take share of his long, impressive life. The very first skater to land a 900. The people vertical underpants champion 12 years in a row. The face of the best videogame of every time, Tony Hawk’s agree Skater 2, together with 18 other games in the $1.4 billion agree Skater franchise. A male who because that sure has gotta have so much money. And, finally, the deeply kind and really chill guy who attempted to teach one writer just how to perform an ollie ~ she emailed him and asked if that would and he claimed “okay” to the great shock of both her and also her editor, who now had actually to permit her carry out it. In a life, he’ll conclude, friend can’t ask because that much more than that.

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I was never a skater. I was a punk, in high school, and also I hated corporations and also was certain there should be a wage ceiling since Jello Biafra claimed so on among his talked word albums, yet I was never ever a skater. Though ns hung out at the skatepark and also had a Tony hawk sweatshirt and regularly to buy skateboarding magazines, I never ever so much as test a ride down an alleyway. This is possibly because in my prime skateboarding year I had actually to have tendency to my scoliosis — mine spine is an S, i m sorry is my personal medical background and nobody of your organization — however it is much more likely due to the fact that I was a coward. (I’m brave now.) Life is nothing yet a heap of regrets, it’s true, until someday Tony hawk teaches you just how to ollie and also it’s great.


The concern I had actually is this: could Tony eagle teach me just how to ollie? then the concern continued: me — a know-nothing coward, who who has never also stood top top a skateboard before, and who is not particularly coordinated also though she does sometimes take adult starting person ballet? then the question continued: Tony hawk — the guy who is Tony Hawk, the best skater of every time, five-time Nickelodeon Kid’s an option Awards’ Favorite masculine Athlete, and legitimately one of the greatest celebrities I deserve to imagine myself encountering? Hmm. It’s a question like, “Can Michael Jordan teach me just how to execute a layup?” or, “Can Martha Stewart teach me just how to set a table?” or, “Can Tom Cruise teach me exactly how to it is in an OT VII?” in that, fine — you’ve gotta imagine lock can.

Right?

I freshly traveled to Tony Hawk’s warehouse close to San Diego to find out. It to be nuts. Ns feel it would be journalistically corrupt of me to omit the truth that the was an extremely nuts and one of the best days of my life. Ns genuinely cannot think it happened, and I am stunned at the kind of scams you deserve to sometimes pull together a writer.


After quick introductions, Tony Hawk acquired down to the company of attempting come teach an idiot writer indigenous the internet just how to ollie

Tony Hawk’s warehouse residences an astoundingly big 20-foot vert ramp that seems like it must have to hold that breath to fit within the building. Attached come it ~ above one next is a narrow, taller, slide-looking drop-in that Tony Hawk explained was actually no “even scarier” than the vert ramp, since it doesn’t have the vert part that the shorter vert ramp has. It still seemed scary come me. (It to be so tall, and also you had actually to climb a the majority of stairs to obtain up come it!) over there were likewise some smaller ramps and also some other stuff. I should have taken far better note of all the stuff that remained in there, but I was nervous. There was most likely a rail to grind on? You deserve to imagine. In the back, there to be stacks and stacks of skateboards in boxes, and also a eagle made the end of LEGOs and some bowling pins signed by Tony Hawk.

After short introductions, Tony Hawk obtained down to the company of attempting come teach an idiot writer native the internet how to ollie. An “ollie,” if you don’t know, is a fundamental skateboarding trick and the basis for essentially all others. It allows you to jump up in the air on your skateboard, and it looks very cool. You deserve to hop end something or everything you want. I wanted to learn exactly how to do an ollie both since it is my dream to it is in a skater and also because it is my dream to have a collection of surprising little talents that I can pull out at parties, shocking friend who had no idea i was for this reason skilled; it’s why i would also someday favor to have the ability to do one pull-up. Follow to Wikipedia, “the ollie is regularly the an initial trick to it is in learned by a new skateboarder.” This checks out. Likewise according to Wikipedia, “The ollie generally takes substantial practice come learn.” We’ll see.


At this allude in my life, here’s miscellaneous I deserve to say: whatever I know around skateboarding i learned straight from Tony Hawk. In situation you haven’t had a comparable opportunity (sad for you), I’ve laid out the process of perfect an ollie in 10 steps.

Here us go, and also get ready to ollie!

STEP 1: key every editor you ever work with the story: “Can Tony eagle Teach Me how to Ollie?” Almost every one of them will say no, possibly because they will think you are joking. Some will certainly tell you that the key you’ve argued “isn’t a story.” okay — that will seem rude. Store asking till you catch one in a minute of weakness.


STEP 2: questioning Tony hawk to teach you how to ollie. This action will be much simpler than friend expected. Simply ask him and he will say yes.

STEP 3: take trip to Vista, California, where the Tony eagle Inc. Warehouse is located. Take it a redeye there and wonder why you don’t simply live in California, due to the fact that wouldn’t the be easier?, it’s so beautiful, but then remember why girlfriend don’t just live in California, and also that’s because you’re not talented enough at underpants yet.


STEP 4: satisfy your video team at the Tony hawk Inc. Warehouse. Something you may have actually neglected to think around while doggedly chasing the story of her life, “Can Tony eagle Teach Me exactly how to Ollie?,” is the this is something civilization are walking to want to have actually on video. You don’t specifically have an “on-camera personality,” and this may prove to it is in the most daunting part of nailing the can be fried ollie, but I believe in you.

STEP 5: obtain a skateboard, helmet, knee pads, and also elbow pads from a very helpful Tony eagle Inc. Employee whose surname is Seth. He will certainly tell you come let him know if the pads are too large, which castle are. You will not let him know, i m sorry is wrong. He will make you sign a waiver, i m sorry is wise.


STEP 6: After meeting Tony Hawk, break it to him that you’ve never ever skateboarded before and that his job today is to teach you how to ollie in one hour. “Oh. Have you snowboarded, or anything?” he’ll ask. “No…,” you’ll say. “Do friend think you’ll be able to teach me?” you’ll ask. “...Yeah,” he’ll say, yet it will certainly feel much more like he is speak the opposite.


STEP 7: effort to skate in a line. (It will behoove friend to practice skating in a line in the 40 minutes you have before Tony eagle arrives therefore the very first time you effort to ice skating in a line is not in former of Tony Hawk. Currently it will be simply one the the an initial times.) discover your footing on the board. If your left foot leads, you room regular-footed. If your appropriate foot leads, you are goofy-footed. “You’re goofy-footed, prefer me,” Tony Hawk will tell you. “Goofy-footed, prefer Tony Hawk!” your gravestone will ultimately read.

Push off through your foot and also then turn it contempt so the is aligned through the board. To turn, transition your weight toward your heels or toward your toes. (You won’t have the ability to do this.)


STEP 8: attempt to do a kick turn. For this, Tony hawk will press you into the ramp as if you space a baby and also you will attempt come maneuver her body and also the plank so the you could turn and keep on skating. Girlfriend won’t be able to do it, also though it seems choose it should be really simple, and you will certainly fall. Eventually you will carry out it halfway, and you will decide the is good enough, which girlfriend will be able to tell disappoints Tony Hawk.


STEP 9: attempt to perform an ollie. You’ll watch Tony Hawk do it, and also it will certainly hit friend now an ext than ever before that what you’ve essentially signed up because that is the chance to embarrass you yourself in prior of Tony hawk and, later, the whole internet. Tony Hawk will certainly tell you to stomp under on the tail and also then elevator your other foot up. Girlfriend will shot this plenty of times, held ago only by fear, and eventually girlfriend will boost slightly. (It will be much an ext tiring than you guess to attempt to carry out ollies.)


Tony Hawk will certainly be incredibly encouraging throughout the experience, and at one point, roughly the 40-minute mark of her time together, that will claim that you have actually done a small ollie. Return you will not feel choose you’ve done it, friend will at some point decide to think him due to the fact that you are tired and also can tell that that is more than likely the finest you’re walking to have the ability to do.

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Yes!!!!!!!! you did it!!!!!!! You’ve done an ollie!!!!!!!!


STEP 10: Tony Hawk will ask you if you want to slide down the vert ramp on her butt. Oh my god! The idea will scare you, yet he’ll organize onto your hands till you acquire past the vert component at which point, the promises, that is essentially just a slide. You will feel as if you room a child, specifically among Tony Hawk’s children, and it will certainly feel incredibly good.


After that, girlfriend pretty lot just have to watch Tony Hawk perform tricks top top the ramp because that a while, and that’s exactly how you carry out an ollie. The end. Thank you, Tony Hawk! i love you!